Tia Julio's Advices

Dear Tia Julio,
I like a guy at my school and he seems to like me, too. We do a lot of things together. Unfortunately, whenever we go somewhere, he doesn’t have much money so I have to pay for his Starbucks or McDonald’s. He said his parents don’t give him much of an allowance. I don’t mean to complain, but I don’t get much allowance, either. How can I get him to pay his fair share? – Poor in Pendik

Dear P.I.P.,
I am sorry to hear that this boy you like is not playing his proper role as a boyfriend. It seems to me that this boy is simply using you for free meals and coffee. If he truly liked you, he would be doing his best to impress you by paying for all your meals whether he gets allowance or not. Unfortunately, this is not the case. He is making up silly excuses to save himself money and is making you pay. What kind of real boyfriend does that? My advice is to dump him. He doesn't deserve to have a kind and generous girl like you.
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Dear Tia Julio,
I have many close friends in my school. We all have unlocked lockers in our PE locker room. My friends feel quite comfortable to take things from my locker—my school uniform shirt, my coat, my deodorant—and use them. I don’t mind, but I wish they would put the things back where they found them. I have received two discipline slips because I cannot find my uniform shirt. What can I do to get them to respect my property and my need for “boundaries?” –Frustrated in Ferikoy

Dear F.I.F.,
I understand how frustrated you must be right now, and I would definitely have felt the same way. It is wrong of your friends to simply take your things without returning them. The best thing to do is simply talk to them. Borrowing is ok, but stealing is not. Tell them your boundaries and be specific about it. If this doesn't work, I would advise you to take your things home and leave nothing in your locker box; then there is nothing left to steal.
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Dear Tia Julio,
I have a lot of homework every night. At the same time, I want to spend time with my friends, participate in extra-curricular activities, and use Facebook. If I don’t get on Facebook every night, I feel left out. At the same time, I think I’m wasting a lot of time and it is one way I could make better use of my time. What do you suggest? -- Sometimes lonely in Libadiye

Dear S.L.I.L.,
Spending time with friends and participating in extra-curricular activities is a wonderful opportunity, and you should never be afraid to have fun and enjoy life. However, you must know your limits. Facebook can be a big time-waster and you must control yourself. When you have a lot of homework, you may have to reject an invitation to hangout with your friends at the mall or not watch the boy's soccer game or simply shut off your computer. Your friends will understand if they are truly your friends. Time is more valuable than rubies, so make the most of every opportunity.